Resources

ARF Resources

Low cost. Clear moves. Dignity intact.

▸ How to Use This
  • Read the situation before acting.
  • Make one move only.
  • Check what changed.
  • Reset before the next move.

If you are adding more, you are likely increasing cost.

▸ When Not to Act
  • If you are unsure what is happening, keep reading.
  • If your body is tense or reactive, do not act.
  • If the move will increase pressure or confusion, wait.

No alignment — no action.

▸ If It Doesn’t Work
  • Do not repeat the move.
  • Do not escalate.
  • Re-read the situation.
  • Try a smaller, lower-cost move.

If it didn’t work, something was misread — not resisted.

▸ When Things Start Getting Worse
  • If you are talking more, reduce words.
  • If things take longer, remove steps.
  • If resistance increases, lower cost.

If it feels heavier, something unnecessary has been added.

▸ For Educators
▸ Intent

Lower cost first. Protect dignity. Use the smallest reversible move. Make the next step obvious. Help counts as engagement.

▸ Quick Wins
  • Start at 50% of the task, not 100%.
  • Stand beside before you speak.
  • Offer two choices, not repeated instructions.
  • Mark re-entry immediately.
▸ Core Routines
▸ Holding Pattern

Maintain connection without adding pressure. Movement remains possible. Re-entry stays cheaper than staying out.

▸ Conflict Reset

Hear both sides → name choices → confirm relationship → prompt one next move.

▸ Transition Staging

Position timing, bodies, and cues so the transition is already solved before it is called.

▸ Watch For
  • Voice rising with no increase in movement
  • Instructions repeated without change in conditions
  • One adult carrying the entire load
  • Compliance paired with shutdown
▸ For Parents
▸ Intent

Warmth before demands. Lower cost. Offer small choices. Share the finish. Help is success.

▸ Quick Wins
  • Reduce friction before repeating yourself.
  • Offer two clear choices, not open-ended demands.
  • Name the finish line before starting.
▸ Core Moves
▸ Make the Ask Cheaper

Movement begins when cost drops.

▸ Lower Pressure, Maintain Connection

Pressure produces movement. Connection determines whether it lasts.

▸ Co-Author the Finish

Shared ownership reduces resistance.

▸ Watch For
  • Power struggles that repeat without resolution
  • Escalation loops between adult and child
  • Instructions followed by resistance cycles
▸ For Administrators & Systems
▸ Core Rule

Behaviour follows cost. If success is expensive, the system is forcing compliance.

▸ System Moves
▸ Engineer Conditions

Make the right move cheaper than the wrong one.

▸ Track Cost

If someone is burning out, cost is misplaced.

▸ Read Reality

If it only works when a specific person is present, it does not work.

▸ Quick Scenarios
▸ Entry & Transition
▸ Morning Soft Start

Lower cost at the doorway → movement becomes natural.

▸ Lights Transition

Stage first → cue second.

▸ Task Initiation
▸ Five-Minute Anchor

Start small → secure movement → offer continuation.

▸ Screen Bridge

Finish → bridge → next step is clear.

▸ Regulation
▸ Noise Peak Plan

Pre-plan exits → enable a clean return.

▸ Turn-Taking Tokens

Make fairness visible.

▸ Failure Conditions
  • If effort increases but movement does not, stop and change conditions.
  • If success depends on one specific adult, the system is unstable.
  • If compliance replaces engagement, cost is being hidden.
  • If escalation repeats, the loop is unresolved.

Action: Reduce cost → re-read the field → re-enter with a smaller move.